Practising Self-Compassion
"Remember to give yourself the same kindness you give to others"
“Remember to give yourself the same kindness you give to others” is quite the impactful quote, and definitely stirs up a bit of emotion along with it. So I think that is the best way to start this email!
Self-Compassion is the practice of treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, particularly during times of difficulty, failure, or suffering. In simple terms, it is treating yourself with the same care and, well, compassion, that you give to those in your life, rather than not acknowledging what is happening and criticising yourself.
A small message from Tayla, my Virtual Assistant!
Experience with Self-Compassion
Hi all! It's Tayla here. I thought I would share my own experience with self-compassion, and admittedly, this is something that is quite new to me, too.
It may sound a bit silly, but I had never really heard the term “Self-Compassion" before until I was sitting in one of my therapy sessions last year. I was asked what I would say to a friend if they were telling me the things I was telling my therapist, and then the things that I was telling myself. She simply said, “How about giving yourself that same compassion that you would to a friend. Can you do that?”. Naturally, I was a bit shocked. I realised that what I would say to a friend, compared to what I was saying to myself were the complete opposite.
So, I started to look at things that I had experienced, or was currently going through, and tried to flip the script that I was telling myself. Instead of saying “What is wrong with me?” I would say “I am trying my best”. Instead of saying “I need to do more and be better” I would say “I am doing the best that I can and that is enough”.
I won't lie and say that it is an easy thing to do, and I felt a bit sad for myself, especially my younger self, because I realised that what I was going through at that time would be hard for anyone, and I really deserved to be more kind to myself.
But, it is something that I have now learnt from and carry with me today. My only hope is that we can all start to be a bit more compassionate to ourselves and as a whole to treat ourselves with more love and kindness.
Self-Compassion Exercises
Below are just a few exercises that we have found that we thought could be helpful on your journey of discovering your own self-compassion.
1. Mindful Awareness
Bring mindful awareness to your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, without judgment or criticism. Notice when you're being self-critical or harsh, and gently redirect your attention towards self-kindness and understanding.
2. Self-Kindness
Treat yourself with the same kindness and care that you would offer to a close friend or loved one. Speak to yourself with gentle and supportive language, offering words of encouragement and comfort during challenging moments.
3. Cultivate Self-Acceptance
Embrace your strengths and weaknesses, recognising that you are worthy of love and belonging just as you are. Let go of unrealistic expectations and perfectionism, and embrace your authentic self with compassion and acceptance.
4. Practice Forgiveness
Forgive yourself for past mistakes or perceived shortcomings, recognising that you are human and deserving of compassion. Let go of self-blame and self-criticism, and offer yourself the same forgiveness and understanding that you would offer to others.
5. Seek Support
Reach out to supportive friends, family members, or a therapist when needed. Sharing your struggles with others and receiving validation and support can help you feel seen, heard, and understood, fostering feelings of compassion and connection.
Thank you for taking the time to read this one today! It's important to know that you are not alone, and perhaps this is a small reminder to treat yourself with more love and kindness, too.
Take care,
Tamarin and Tayla
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